Never Thought I’d Say That, Part 2

Last week I did a post about all the things we have found ourselves saying to our children that we never thought we would have to say.

Needless to say it is hilarious. So without further ado, he is another list of things you never thought you would have to say to your kids.

Please stop trying to catch the bubbles with your tongue. (yep, that one is mine).

Do not let the dog lick your tongue.

Stop licking the table.

Don’t throw sand at the couple.

Why does your room smell like poop? Where are your underwear?

Please don’t shoot me in the testicles with the bazooka…………………….AGAIN!

Don’t drop the F-Bomb in front of your Mom and Sister. Grandma is OK, as long as she uses it first.

No, the bullets go in the other way.

No, you DON’T have a penis! Not even a little one!

No, Daddy is NOT being a dick, and where did you hear that, anyway?

Can we watch Spongebob instead of Dora?

Love one another before I kill you!

Take it outside and don’t come back in ’til one of you is laid out on the ground.

Don’t wear your mother’s heels down the stairs. (said to 3 year old son).

You can’t blow up the “balloons” that are in Mommy and Daddy’s nightstand.

Why do you have a potato in your underwear?

You want to nurse? Please don’t pee on me.

No more sword fights if you can’t keep your pee in the toilet.

Why don’t you go outside and play grab-ass!

That’s very nice of you but Jesus does not need your peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

No, the dogs do not like salt in their water.

No it is not! We don’t have any chocolate!

Do not put peeps in the microwave with toothpicks in them just to watch them joust, and eat the one that doesn’t blow up.

Make sure you check out the first post, Never Thought I’d Say That.

About Rachel

Rachel Akers writes about crafts, recipes, and features the adventures of a family of 4. It is always crazy but I wouldn't change it for the world! Comments or questions? Talk to me on Facebook or Twitter or sign up for our RSS feed to have future articles delivered to your feed reader.